Happy New Year! Here’s to a healthy and prosperous 2019! I’ve got something on my mind.
We all get them. LinkedIn sends us people the computers think we ought to connect with. I actually scrolled through these automated suggestions recently. About 75 percent of them were men. At least half of them were people I knew, so the algorithms do seem to work.
I noticed something curious about the photos many of the men used on their LinkedIn profiles. They were holding a microphone talking. I know public speaking is a good way to promote oneself and I do a bit of it myself. And I know it is good to be seen as a ‘thought leader.’ But it was just striking how many showed a man with their mouth open, talking.
During the last two years, I’ve heard way too much of men talking! And way too often that discourse is uncivil. And way too often, those who want to be heard can’t find someone who will listen. I think the whole country has forgotten how to listen. Really listen, and hear.
So here is my resolution for 2019: To listen more and listen better.
I’ve prided myself on being a pretty good listener. Once, one of my direct reports called me a “world class listener.” It may be the second-best compliment I’ve ever received.
I think listening is the best tool there is for a manager. I think it is the best thing I can do as a business consultant. I think it is the best thing I can do as a husband, father, grandfather and friend. Listen.
So often when men listen, if they listen at all, they just want to solve the problem. Often, I’ve been told (by women in my life), “Don’t solve the problem, I just want to be heard.” Of course, sometimes the speaker does want me to solve a problem, but not always. Often, just listening, is all that is wanted.
This year I resolve to listen more and listen better.
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